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Episode 63 - Elves
Elves is a 1989 horror/suspense B-movie starring Dan Haggerty and Julie Austin. Much like ''Troll 2'', the title is wholly misleading, as, despite the title implying multiple elves, there is literally only one creature seen for the entirety of the film; and it looks more like the Green Goblin than an elf. Actually, it probably ran concurrently to the plot of Troll 2. Plot A "teenager" learns she is the key part of a Nazi plot to birth an army of evil elf creatures, while Grizzly Adams gets a job as a mall Santa. Notable characters *Kirsten Hiller *Mike McGavin *Kirsten's mother *Nazi grandpa *Evil elf *Willy Hiller *Rubinkreuz *Professor O'Conner *Fitzpatrick The Episode *This is the holiday episode for 2016. Scores James - Insanity Damien - Okay Highlights * Damien's description of the film before the recap * Damien praising Dan Haggerty * The first showings of when the film took a turn for crazytown * James' running list of "It took three screenwriters..." * What if it was Reb Brown as Santa in this movie? * The hosts reading off group names of birds References * The Simpsons * Chrono Trigger * Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny * Bananas in Pajamas * Pussy Riot * Joy Division * Everard Maltravers * Dr. Lyme * ''Deadfall'' * Johnny Rockets * Denny * Alien * Happy Gilmore * The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams * A Christmas Story * Susan Lucci * The Lion King * ''Troll 2'' * Reb Brown * ''Yor: The Hunter From the Future'' * Jeff Goldblum * Wipeout * Dawn of the Dead * Stonehenge Magic Stone * David DeCoteau * Olivia Newton John * Unsolved Mysteries * Fangoria * GameCube * Grease * Pete Holmes * College Humor Batman * ''Street Fighter Red Tape'' * ''Mortal Kombat: Annihilation'' * Nathan Lane * Martin Short * Kids in the Hall * Adam Sandler * ''Howard the Duck'' * Xanadu * Beavis and Butthead * The Green Goblin * Jesse Ventura * ''Glitter'' * ''Warriors of the Wasteland'' * Wolf Pack * WCW * nWo * Santa with Muscles * Sonic the Hedgehog * The Spirit * Son of the Mask * The Crow: Wicked Prayer '' * ''Catwoman * Cuckoo for Proof * Night of the Demons * Ginger Dead Man * Feeders 2: Sleigh Bells * Saving Christmas * Saw * ''Dark of the Moon'' * Age of Extinction * Death Stranding * Metal Gear Solid 5 * Silent Hill * Sonic * Charlie Brown * Batman: The Animated Series * Static Shock * Highlander the Source * Shaun Michaels * Quick Change * Primer * Cube * Missions of the Afternoon * Battletoads * Bloodborne * Dead Rising * Elektra * Twilight: Eclipse * Samurai Cop 2 * Jupiter Ascending Tiradesverse tropes *Protagonist? - Kirsten *Nonsensical Title - There is only one creature seen the entire movie and it doesn't even remotely look like an elf *Anticlimactic Main Villain - The Nazi guys are useless and the evil elf is killed by a crystal *No One Will Like Your Character - Kristen is going to go to Art School, and she writes poetry! *Massive gunfight *No movie!!! - Nothing in this movie should have happened because the grandpa and his Nazi cohorts never knew Kirsten was going to go to the woods, let alone that she would accidentally cut her hand and bleed on the ground. *Box of kittens - Kirsten's psycho mom and the Nazis *Brick Wall Ending - The movie just ends after the elf is stabbed to death. How the fuck do Kirsten and Willy explain all this shit to the police? *Guy Banters - The three high school males seen for like 12 seconds *Unrealistic Real Estate - Kirsten seems to be the only person in their house who works, and she's a part-time waitress at a diner. Who the fuck is paying for this huge house? Ending song Before and After Previous Episode: Episode 62 - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Next Episode: Episode 64 - After Earth Category:Episodes Category:Holiday films Category:Horror films Category:Suspense films Category:1989 films